A giant panda was born in Japan - the first to successfully conceived through artificial insemination in about 20 years. Aw, it’s the littlest giant ever! [Mirror] Radiohead’s last show of their U.S. summer tour will be webcast live...

Eva Longoria is trying to get pregnant and would like us all to know about it. In related news, this morning we shat. [Us Weekly] Former EIC of Seventeen and current annoying over-sharer Atoosa Rubenstein is crapping out a...

Hot new couple alert! Audrina Partridge rubs down Chuy Bravo, Chelsea Handler’s Latinoid assistant. [Audrina XO] Lindsay Lohan is defending her younger sister Ali’s big plastic boobs. [dlisted] Some dude in Ohio filmed himself bathing in a Burger King...

Why is Carrie Underwood wearing a Jennifer Lopez mask on the cover of Allure? John Mayer dumped Jennifer Aniston because he’s John Mayer and she’s Jennifer Aniston. [Mirror] Paulina Rubio: Still ridiculous. [People En Español] Now instead of calling...

Tyra Banks is going to dress up as Michelle Obama for the pages of Harper’s Bazaar. While Heidi Montag will wear a rubber Cindy McCain mask outside her home later tonight. [Page Six] Federal investigators would like to interrogate...

British authors confess to never reading certain classic works of literature like Ulysses, Wuthering Heights and A La Recherche du Temps Perdu. Adorable British authors: They’re just like us! [Telegraph] A new wax statue of Amy Winehouse has been...

Eva Longoria is on fire. Hydrant. [Magamba] Eva Mendes thinks Interview magazine’s jokes about rehab were tacky because Eva Mendes is a fast, furious arbiter of taste and class. [Us] Samantha Ronson gave Lindsay Lohan a Cartier ring for...

Cristiano Ronaldo has a certain appendage he’d really like to show the paparazzi. [Machochip] Domestic diva Rachael Ray is apparently EVOMG so difficult to work with when it comes to putting together her memoirs. [E!] Kylie Minogue promises she...

Amy Winehouse may have tuberculosis. She may also have chlamydia, leprosy and feline AIDS. [The Sun] Miley Cyrus has lots of fans in prison. Jealous? [Hollyscoop] Katie Holmes got Nicole Kidman a nice gift basket for her pregnancy, unaware...

Hulk Hogan talked to Larry King about how terrible and whiny his incarcerated son is. Or how great and noble? We’re not sure. Mariah Carey proves that just because you weren’t invited to someone’s wedding, does not mean you...

One fourth of New York residents have herpes. Honey. [WCBS] Maybe if Patricia Fields had dressed Hillary Clinton in a tutu and roller skates, she’d still be in the race. [NYT] Jennifer Lopez is coming out with a line...

Lily Allen blah-blah-blahgged about acting a straight up drunken fool at the “Glamour Awards.” [Lily’s MySpace] That said, we would make a baby with her dress. Present? [AOL] Johnny Depp has invited Lindsay Lohan to “Fuck Off Island.” Honey,...

Lindsay Lohan and Jessica Alba recently had a heart-to-heart when the two were seated beside one another at the Beverly Hills Hotel’s coffee shop. Or not: Lohan looked like she just rolled out of bed with last night’s makeup...

Topless photos, quickie marriages and various relapses, oh my! In an effort to answer the oft-asked question, “What’s going on with kids today?” Guanabee Associate Editor Alex Alvarez takes a look at the crop of young, rehabulous female stars...

Ashlee Wentz-Simpson is officially pregnant. With a baby, not a taco fart. [Friends or Enemies] Jose Luis Gonzalez of “Jose Luis Sin Censura” is the Hot Slut of the Day. [dlisted] Bill Murray’s estranged wife is accusing him of...

Lindsay Lohan is reportedly keen on marrying her girlfriend, Samantha Ronson, and has told her ex, Calum Best, that the two are engaged. Divorce countdown starts now: According to Britain’s Daily Star newspaper, the ‘Georgia Rule’ star has apparently...

After intently studying recent pictures of his daughter clamming up on DJ Sam Ronson, Michael Lohan cleans they pretty much prove the two are, as the tabloids or John McCain might say, “an item:” Days after photos of them...

We’d wrap our car around a pole and wear some other dude’s pants, too, if we had to go around pretending to be straight when we weren’t, so Lindsay Lohan, you get one get-out-of-alcoholic-jail-free card. Now stop being an...

We know there’s all sorts of fun, educational, interesting, thought-provoking programming available on TV today, but. Honestly? It’s always tripe like “Living Lohan” that makes us wish we actually owned a television. In this preview clip, Dina feigns horror...

On the heels of news that California has allowed same-sex marriage, Ellen announced she and Portie de Rossi are getting married. They’re registered at Crate & Barrel. We call dibs on the natural raffia placemats. [TMZ] Lindsay Lohan’s mom...

A live-action version of “Fraggle Rock?” Been done. See: Next item. [NY Observer] Here’s your first look at the new cast of Gossip Girl The O.C. ThunderCats “Beverly Hills 90210.” [SOW] Are people telling Michael Lohan that Sam Ronson...

Robyn’s new single “Konichiwa Bitches” annoys us worse than leotard chafe and we’ll share why. 1) We hate the term “bitches,” 2) this sounds exactly like Missy Elliot’s “Work It” and 3) Robyn mentions Hong Kong, Saigon and Beijing...

Former actress Lindsay Lohan and a couple of hunch-backs posed in L.A. to promote her new line of leggings, “Utter Crap by Lindsay Lohan.” …And this is all just too easy. Bright red lipstick with heavy eyeshadow and platinum...

Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes might create another alien hatchling together. [E!] Mischa Barton’s publicist says recent photos of Mischa looking like an old bowl of cottage cheese have been “doctored.” Yeah? Kevorkian? [Rush & Molloy] Paul McCartney has...

Why look! It’s Lindsay Lohan doing some “acting” other than “acting not drunk in front of paparazzi cameras.” Here she is on the set of “Ugly Betty” with some Special Ed student that escaped from nap time. We’d almost...

Stupid Scarlett Johansson showed off her big, stupid engagement while wearing a stupid, ugly dress. That stupid head. [A Socialite’s Life] Star Jones has gone out and about with her new gigolo. Uh, boyfriend. No, gigolo. [dlisted] It would...

Let’s celebrate Dina Lohan’s award with an all-Lohan Watchando, Guanababies. Above is, apparently, Lindsay Lohan’s new track. Feel free to create your own “track” pun. A Columbia student named Masha Markova claims Lindsay Lohan stole her fur coat. Was...

Our favorite Lohan who isn’t Dina, Lindsay, is in talks to guest star on “Ugly Betty,” which is some show about Mexicans with bad teeth or somesuch. An overly gushy TV Guide reports: Multiple Ugly sources confirm to me...

Mariah Carey is engaged to Nick Cannon. That’s plenty gross by itself, but the engagement ring he gave her? Is the same he gave to his ex, model Selita Ebanks. [Perez Hilton] Annie Leibowitz hates brown people. [Jezebel] John...

That headline is probably a good indication that we should stop reading The NY Post. Anyway, Lindsay Lohan will cut you, Ashley Olsen, if you so much as look her girlfriend, DJ Samantha Ronson. And she’ll probably stalk you...

“Dancing With the Stars’” Karina Smirnoff has a thing for guys named Mario, moving from Mario Lopez to R&B singer Mario. Which makes sense because that ” I Heart Mario” tattoo would hurt like a bitch to remove. [Page...

“South Park” guesses what Britney Spears’ demise might be like. We hope girl gets her head right. [Funny or Die, via Hollywood Rag] Lindsay Lohan might have a sex tape. Actually, scratch that. Lindsay Lohan definitely has a sex...

Jennifer Aniston is staying as a guest in Gloria Estefan’s home while she shoots a movie in Miami. And that’s about as interesting as Jennifer Aniston news gets. [Hissip] Paparazzi act like 14 year old girls in the pages...

Justin Timberlake apparently plays him own damn self in his upcoming movie with Jessica Alba, The Love Guru. [Daily Mail] Penelope Cruz and Javier Bardem: Not just a fling! Because no one introduces a fuck buddy to their parents,...

Kurt Cobain’s daughter is the cutest little Bean we’ve ever seen. [Harper’s Bazaar] Lindsay Lohan looks like a cocker spaniel. Haha. Cocker. [dlisted] Did Michel Gondry’s Be Kind, Rewind steal its concept from Nickelodeon? Hello? Does anyone give a...

Lindsay Lohan made an appearance at the Honda Center in Anaheim, California before WWE’s Monday Night Raw, where she took the time to pose with tiny and mysterious Mexican wrestler, Rey Misterio. It seems the recovering addict and fiery-crotched...

TMZ calls Ricky Martin fat, makes a “Bon-Bon” pun so we don’t have to. [TMZ] Lindsay Down-Lohan has split up with her girlfriend. Yeah, she’s totally less interesting when she’s sober. Or when we are. [Celebitchy] Paris Hilton leaves...

Okay, this isn’t really Latino…except it is on the Friday before New Year’s Eve! TMZ caught Lindsay Lohan’s dad meeting her at New York’s J. Sisters salon to hand off some hockey tickets. J. Sisters, as you might know,...

“Rebelde” actress and “RBD” singer Anahi recently got a tattoo that’s strikingly similar to the one Lindsay Lohan got shortly after her boob job asthma attack in Miami [Ed. note: Is it sad that we know this? Please don’t...

Spanish-language network Univision is reporting that Puerto Rican-Mexican singer Luis Miguel is maybe, possibly dating Lindsay Lohan - a flaming bush in the desert of celebrity culture. We’re going to file this under “Meh.” Luismi se divierte sin Aracely...