New personal papers of Ernest Hemingways’ time in Cuba reveal he was a sentimental, lovesick pussy boy.
4 November 2009
7 April 2009
Gabriel García Márquez Still Privately Molesting Young Girls With His Pen, You Eediots
By Cindy Casares at 12:30 PM.
We knew it would be a matter of moments before Gabriel García Márquez responded to idle reports from his agent Carmen Balcells saying that he will not publish again. According to G-Gar Már, he is totes writing all the time. He’s just not sharing it with you. So, that’s even more masturbatory than usual.
2 April 2009
Gabriel García Márquez To Stop Molesting Young Girls With His Pen
By Cindy Casares at 12:45 PM.
Gabriel Garcia Marquez’s agent, Carmen Balcells, has effectively announced the author’s retirement in an interview with Chile’s La Tercera. “I don’t believe [he'll] write again,” she said, causing 13 year-old street walkers across Latin America to breathe a sigh of relief.
11 December 2007
The Brief Wondrous Life Of Oscar Wao: I’m Just Not That Into It
By Cindy Casares at 12:00 PM.
A few months ago, unanimously adored writer Junot Diaz released his first book in 11 years and his first novel ever, entitled The Brief Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao, to critical acclaim and, let’s face it, ball-faced fawning across the board. The meanest publishing website in the world (Gawker) called it, “the best book [...]
15 November 2007
Iran Bans Garcia Marquez’s charmingly titled, Memories Of My Melancholy Whores.
By Guanabee Staff at 6:30 PM.
The conservative government of Iran has banned Gabriel Garcia Marquez’s latest novel Memories of My Melancholy Whores after realizing publishers hid its racy content by renaming it with the clever new title of Memories of My Melancholy Sweethearts. Heck, if you ask Russell Simmons, those two words are interchangeable!
The official responsible for originally authorising the [...]
