6 October 2009

If Mark Sanford Had A David Letterman Laugh Track During His Confession

By Cindy Casares at 9:18 AM.

2 Comments

Someone put the laugh track from last night’s David Letterman apology on Mark Sanford’s Maria Belen Chapur confession.

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22 September 2009

Jenny Sanford Got A Book Deal. Submit Your Working Titles Here.

By Cindy Casares at 3:36 PM.

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26 August 2009

Mark Sanford Takes A Stand For Slutty Governors Everywhere

By Cindy Casares at 7:28 PM.

One Comment

“I will not be railroaded out of office,” Mark Sanford wrote today in a letter to South Carolina Lt. Governor Andre Bauer who basically told Sanford today to take his Argentinean slut and step down from office.

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24 August 2009

Maria Belen Chapur Is Rumored To Be In South Carolina

By Cindy Casares at 10:29 AM.

2 Comments

While Jenny Sanford is talking about empathy for her philandering husband in this month’s Vogue, rumor has it that Mark Sanford the governor and latin lover of South Carolina, has moved his Argentine girlfriend, Maria Belen Chapur, stateside.

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17 August 2009

Jenny Sanford Shows Vogue She’s Down With God, Gabriel García Márquez And Forgiving Mark Sanford

By Alex Alvarez at 5:16 PM.

One Comment

Jenny Sanford, the estranged wife of disgraced South Carolina governor Mark Sanford, opened up to Vogue about the impact her husband’s affair with Argentine journalist Maria Belen Chapur has had on her.

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7 August 2009

Jenny Sanford Moves Out Of The Governor’s Mansion. Might We Suggest Argentina As Her Next Home?

By Alex Alvarez at 9:57 AM.

2 Comments

Jenny Sanford, estranged wife of South Carolina governor Mark Sanford, is moving out of the Governor’s Mansion in which she’s lived for the past six-and-a-half years.

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30 July 2009

Air Force Goes Easy On Mark Sanford For Adultery “Crime”

By Alex Alvarez at 9:23 AM.

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Mark Sanford, a captain in the Air Force Reserve, was scrutinized for the serious crime he committed. And, no, not the crime of having borrowed tax payer money in order to listen to Coldplay with an Argentine.

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20 July 2009

Mark Sanford’s Op-Ed Calls Maria Belen Chapur Debacle “His Funeral” And “A Tragedy”

By Cindy Casares at 2:30 PM.

2 Comments

This weekend, South Carolina governor Mark Sanford published an Op-Ed piece in local papers that’s so pathetic we’re beginning to think that The State is not really a newspaper, but an elaborate guerilla comedy piece from defunct indie comedy project The State.

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16 July 2009

Maria Belen Chapur New Photos

By Cindy Casares at 10:49 PM.

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New Maria Belen Chapur Photos Reveal She Shops!

By Cindy Casares at 10:34 PM.

3 Comments

Someone snapped photos of Maria Belen Chapur walking down the street after grocery shopping. It’s just like when we go grocery shopping. Except for the paparazzi.

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10 July 2009

Hundreds Of Mark Sanford Emails Reveal He’s As Pussy-Whipped As You Thought

By Cindy Casares at 1:37 PM.

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Hundreds of emails from South Carolina governor Mark Sanford’s account show that he jumped through major hoops last summer to get his Jesus-loving ass down to Buenos Aires where he already admitted he saw his girlfriend, Maria Belén Chapur.

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3 July 2009

Maria Belen Chapur’s Email Hacker Says, “You Don’t Know Who You’re Messing With.” Well, duh.

By Cindy Casares at 10:45 AM.

One Comment

The mean person who hacked into Maria Belén Chapur’s Hotmail [Ed. So ninety's.] account and exposed to the world that she has been fucking South Carolina governor Mark Sanford for a year is said to have emailed the couple a nasty note.

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1 July 2009

God’s Plan Is For Mark Sanford to Keep His Job, Says Mark Sanford

By Chris Alonzo at 8:14 AM.

9 Comments

Oh, this is a bag of dicks again. After humiliating his family on a global scale, Mark Sanford made the announcement via his personal website, Facebook and Twitter last night that God wants him to learn his lesson by doing the hard thing and staying on as governor of South Carolina.

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30 June 2009

We Love Mark Sanford Because He Calls His Girlfriend’s Punani “The Ultimate Line”

By Cindy Casares at 6:00 PM.

4 Comments

More fascinating tidbits from Mark Sanford’s Associated Press interview today. (And, P.S., someone tell this dude to stop talking.) Turns out he “crossed lines” with multiple other women besides his girlfriend, Argentinean journalist Maria Belén Chapur. He just never crossed “the ultimate line.”

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Mark Sanford Says He Saw Maria Chapur 5 Times In The Past Year

By Cindy Casares at 1:45 PM.

5 Comments

Oh, so now South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford says he saw Maria Belen Chapur–his girlfriend in Argentina–five times in the past year. But, he says the state only paid for it twice. We totally believe him.

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29 June 2009

Maria Belen Chapur Speaks Out About Her Emails To Mark Sanford

By Alex Alvarez at 9:18 AM.

5 Comments

Maria Belen Chapur contacted C5N and Radio 10 reporter Eduardo Feinmen in Argentina to comment on emails she sent to South Carolina governor Mark Sanford and to clarify who exactly aired these out for all the public to read.

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26 June 2009

Carlos Soto Served Mark Sanford And Maria Belen Chapur At His Restaurant, Says “Real Chapur” Is Blonde

By Alex Alvarez at 3:14 PM.

One Comment

The man pictured at left is named Carlos Soto. He is the owner of an Italian restaurant in Argentina called Guido’s. As the name suggests, it is a classy establishment, attracting the likes of Mark Sanford and Maria Belen Chapur.

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People With White Problems™ React To Our Story On Maria Belen Chapur

By Alex Alvarez at 11:16 AM.

One Comment

Gawker was either kind, smart or naïve enough to pick up our story on the woman believed to be the Maria Belen Chapur - the Argentine journalist who left South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford completely enculado.

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25 June 2009

Mark Sanford Will Have To Reimburse His Laycation To Argentina. Booya.

By Alex Alvarez at 6:49 PM.

2 Comments

Since Mark Sanford admitted-after-he-was-caught that he’d visited his mistress, Maria Belen Chapur, while on a government-funded trip to Argentina, he will have to reimburse part of the cost of that trip to the state of South Carolina.

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María Belén Chapur Picture, Video: Okay, THIS Is Her.

By Cindy Casares at 5:31 PM.

20 Comments

The Argentinean press says this woman is the María Belén Chapur that is currently crying with and schtupping Mark Sanford, governor of South Carolina. No offense to the other María Chapur, but this seems more plausible.

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