6 October 2009

Good Morning: Are You Masturbating Right Now?

By Alejandro Paz at 9:04 AM.

2 Comments

Not sure if you know this, but DANG, a lot of people masturbate. Like a lot. Masturbation is totally fun and appropriate and the reason porn is so dang popular. It gets you off when no ladies are around to lend their fleshy bits. Or vice versa. Let’s see who wants us to know that they’re stroking it hard.

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29 September 2009

Cristian Castro Masturbates 3 Times A Week

By Nacomprende at 11:40 AM.

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31 March 2009

But What Does The Entertainment World Think Of Elvis Crespo Masturbating?

By Cindy Casares at 7:00 PM.

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Milking Elvis Crespo’s snake on a plane for all it’s worth, Univision asked the stars at Premio Lo Nuestro how they felt about Elvis getting caught masturbating. Sound bites range from the demure, “No comment,” to the brazen “Everybody does it. More power to you, bro.” Well, we won’t be sitting next to any Norteño bands on [...]

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27 March 2009

Elvis Crespo MySpace Video Denies Getting Detained, But Not Masturbating

By Cindy Casares at 4:39 PM.

One Comment

As promised, Elvis Crespo has posted on his MySpace page a video statement regarding the recent allegations that he masturbated during a flight from Houston to Miami last week. And, as expected, he’s sidestepping everything.

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26 March 2009

Elvis Crespo Began Masturbating 15 Minutes After The Flight Took Off

By Cindy Casares at 9:07 AM.

5 Comments

The Associated Press is now following the important federal case of Elvis Crespo masturbating in U.S. air space and they say he started masturbating fifteen minutes after his Continental flight from Houston to Miami took off. Dayum, horniado.

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25 March 2009

Elvis Crespo Caught Masturbating On An Airplane, Suavemente, Of Course

By Cindy Casares at 2:30 PM.

24 Comments

Androgynous Puerto Rican singer Elvis Crespo was in the middle of a flight from Houston to Miami when he decided, fuck the peanuts, I want dees nuts and started masturbating right there in his seat. The lady seated next to him told and, when he landed in Miami, he was detained by the FBI. Imagine [...]

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9 February 2009

“Joydick” Lets Men Combine Masturbating And Gaming

By Camilla Rowan at 4:15 PM.

3 Comments

Some nerds with way too much time on their hands decided that it was simply too difficult to decide between jerking it and playing videogames- so they invented the “Joydick,” which combines the two and is just as terrifying as it sounds. Tutorial video after the jump (Semi-NSFW):

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