Jim Carrey acts demure strolling along the beach with girlfriend Jenny McCarthy. [Telegraph]...

Davids Archuleta and Cook perform hand-stands after meeting fans. David Cook vs. David Archuleta — Hand Stand!!! [Rickey.org]...

Eva Longoria being shy and demure in Los Angeles....

Cristiano Ronaldo acting on his perfectly natural impulses on an Italian beach. Cristiano Ronaldo Hates Clothing [A Socialite’s Life]...

Jennifer Lopez is from the block - if that block is in Madrid and happens to contain a Dolce & Gabbana store. Jennifer Lopez Gets Her Shop On [A Socialite’s Life]...

Jennifer Lopez gives us another reason to ignore Marc Anthony as he performs a concert in Spain. Chichis!!!! [dlisted]...

Cristiano Ronaldo and his super gross girlfriend develop melanoma on a beach in Sardinia. It’s tough at the top: Cristiano Ronaldo laps up the attention from his model girlfriend on holiday [Daily Mail]...

Veronica Castro contorts her face into some semblance of a smile whilst dressed like a demon flâneur. GONE WITH THE WIND [People En Español]...

Jennifer Lopez vacationing in Tenerife, Spain with her family. First Look — Jennifer Lopez in a Bikini With Her Babies!! [PopSugar]...

“The View” co-host Sherri Shepherd gets all touched on by Chippendale dancers in Vegas....

“La Terremoto de Alcorcon,” a Spanish singer we’ve never seen before, works the red carpet. La Terremoto de Fugcorcon [Go Fug Yourself]...

Mario Lopez gives out delicious-looking m&m ice cream pops in Los Angeles. Take It, AC Slater! [dlisted]...

Will Smith shows David Letterman some love while promoting Hancock. Ahem. Will Smith kisses Letterman, says “God made first white ladies” in Russia [Celebitchy]...

Will and Jada Smith’s kids, Jaden and Willow, at the NYC premiere of Kit Kittredge: An American Girl. Will Smith’s Children At The NYC Premiere Of Kit Kittredge: An American Girl [Babyrazzi]...

David Archuleta looking like a fetus in a Halloween pimp costume. David Archuleta - Finishing the Hat [Rickey.org]...

Gus, the new winner of the “World’s Ugliest Dog” award, reclines sedately after his win. Congrats to Gus! [dlisted]...

Eva Longoria and husband Tony Parker attend his brother’s basketball game in France....

Model Jaslene Gonzalez and singer Rihanna at a party for “Good Girl Gone Bad.”...

Gisele wears men’s briefs and a migraine for GQ....

Naomi Campbell being all supermodely at Cipriani in London before attacking a group of paparazzi. Naomi Rages On [dlisted]...

Soccer player Cristiano Ronaldo makes us envy lollipops at a press conference. Cristiano Ronaldo [Getty Images]...

Eva Longoria-Parker and Tony Parker share deep thoughts at the Ingenieur Automatic Edition Zinédine Zidane launch party in France. Yeah. It’s a party for a watch. Eva Longoria and Tony Parker Grace Red Carpets of Paris [A Socialite’s Life]...

Actress and dancer Monica Cruz demonstrates why she avoids dairy in a rather confusing shoot for Spanish “Elle.” Monica Cruz Strips For ELLE [Lossip]...

Amy Winehouse heads to the hospital after fainting in her London home. Amy Winehouse Drags Her Beehive To The Hospital [A Socialite’s Life]...

Salma Hayek and daughter Valentina thank you for the mammaries as they shop on Melrose. Salma Hayek And Her Daughter Hit Melrose [Knocked Up Celebs]...

Our boyfriend, actor Cristian de la Fuente, poses with his former “Dancing the the Stars” co-star, Cheryl Burke, at Disneyland’s ” Indiana Jones Summer of Hidden Mysteries.” DANCING WITH INDIANA JONES [People en Español]...

Actorish dancer Mario Lopez poses with The Oscar Mayer Weinermobile....

Tattoo artist Kat Von D attends Bravo’s laughably named “A-List Awards” in NYC....

…Oops, not Marc Anthony. It’s just a teeny little dog. Our bad, guys. Anyway. Go ahead and caption Conan, a little chihuahua chilling in Japan, as me mimics a Buddhist priest. While wearing what appears to be a tiny...

Here are “America’s Next Top Model” “winner” Jaslene Gonzalez and Danity Kane “singer” Aubrey O’Day at Dior’s “J’Adore” party looking like a “morning after” surprise following a tequila-soaked night in Tijuana two beautiful flowers blossoming amidst fresh morning peepee...

Our boyfriend and sometime soccer player Cristiano Ronaldo is currently being courted by Real Madrid, much to the chagrin of Manchester United. We don’t follow sports, so we’re only vaguely aware of what any of that means, but look!...

Dancing star and former proponent of mullets, Mario Lopez, takes the time to fully enjoy life’s simple pleasures. Among the things our dimpled friend enjoys sre Sunday brunches, the word “tapenade,” long walks on the beach with girlfriend Karina...

They probably lowered the price for Spanish speakers because they knew our mom would be all up in their face asking who the fuck charges 5 dollars for a glass of orange juice. And then we’d be embarrassed and...

Cameron Diaz is going bald for her new movie, My Sister’s Keeper, in which she plays the mother of a child with leukemia. A mother who will probably have at least one scene dancing in her panties while wearing...

Caption a cholatastic Amy Winehouse trying not to smoke a group of young children....

It would appear that Salma Hayek is lashing out at Cannes. Terrible pun? Try and do better, jerk....

No use crying over spilled… something, no? Keep it clean, poodles....

When did Christina Aguilera and What’s His Face turn into your high school friend’s parents from Hialeah?...

Caption Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt as they frolic about with Heidi’s mother in this completely spontaneous, unstaged photo op....

They say a picture is worth a thousand words. But we think, sometimes, it’s worth stabbing yourself in the eye with a fork. That should totally not dissuade you from captioning this Texas protester, though. We mean, we would,...

Well, it’s nice to see Cameron out and about after the death of her Pa. Here she is at the movie premiere for What Happens in Vegas with some homeless man. What could they possibly be saying to each...

Bras. Who needs them? Certainly not large-breasted pregnant women in sheer tops....

What happens when America’s foremost feminist icon and some gossip blogger get together in Washington D.C.? It’s up to you to tell us, because we’re too lazy / busy hating this world. Image via Gawker...