Guys, look. We’ve been sitting here, arguing about political shit and getting absolutely nowhere. Why? Because, duh!, we’ve neglected to ask Tyra Banks how she feels about the issues facing our nation today. Basically? She thinks issues are, like,...

A WSJ (Has every news source turned into some sort of fucking blog? Jesus Christ.) reporter covered a fashion show held at the ginormous Mall of the Americas and attempted to turn the event into a discussion on Republican...

Hotflops shoe company is urging you to “Flop Your Vote,” which seems to mean “wear some shoes with heads hot-glued onto them.” Kawaii!!!! For only $30, you can own a pair of Obama or McCain flip-flop sandals and show...

Because Paris Hilton got into a terrible accident attempting to simultaneously walk and breathe and Nicole Richie was busy having already eaten, thanks, Lindsay Lohan took it upon herself to speak for the “vapid young celebrity” voting demographic and...

Fat Joe took a short break from researching alternative fuel sources / leaning back to comment on Daddy Yankee’s decision to endorse Republican candidate John McCain: “Put this in the MTV News headline: ‘Fat Joe Says Daddy Yankee Is...

Many are speculating that Alaska governor Sarah Palin might be John McCain’s running mate - not those Male McMen Mitt Romney, Tim Pawlenty or Joe Lieberman like many initially expected. And we’re personally a little mixed on the subject....

First came news that Daddy Yankee had endorsed presidential hopeful John McCain. Then, news came out that he had initially approached audaciously hopeful presidential hopeful Barack Obama, but Barack’s people did not want to be publicly associated with the...

Political mastermind Daddy Yankee’s public endorsement of John McCain has, obviously, decided this election for us. But did you know he initially approached Barack Obama’s people about an endorsement? And there were all like, “You ain’t our Papi, Daddy.”...

John McCain visited Phoenix, Arizona’s Central High School this morning with a special guest in tow - none other than Harvard-endorsed reggaetonero, Daddy Yankee. And they call Barack Obama elitist! Ha! Your Daddy and ours has officially endorsed McCain:...

It doesn’t really make sense to address points brought up my people whose judgment is clouded by hate or ignorance because, more often than not, their arguments are colored more by passion than rational thinking. Then again, the remedy...

A report from the Justice Department finds that Monica Goodling, a Senior Aide to former United States Attorney General Alberto Gonzales introduced politics into the selection process for hiring and promoting within the agency. Well, slap us silly and...

With all the questions surrounding whether or not The New Yorker’s “The Obamas as Terrorist Fist-Jabbers” cover is good satire or detrimental to his campaign and public image, we didn’t give much thought to how the cover could actually...

Latinos! Ever felt lost? Unsure of who you are and what it is you’re supposed to be doing? While grab a Dominican flag and your rosary, because, luckily, Barack Obama and John McCain’s camps are more than willing to...

We were just sent a link to an op-ed piece in the Los Angeles Times today about “what Latinos want” this presidential election. It said something about “hard work” and “the chance to build a better future,” and then...

Following the raging success of the last Latino celebrity-backed campaign for Barack Obama, political powerhouses like Juanes, Los Tigres del Norte and Juan Luis Guerra are backing the candidate at their concerts. Even though, you know. Many of them...

While addressing the National Association of Latino Elected Officials, Senator John McCain was interrupted by awesome peace-loving commie pinko protesters from CodePink. In this video a Latina totally joykills grandpa McCain’s solemn talk about Latino veterans by chanting incessantly:...

In an attempt to woo Latinos in possession of vaginas, Senator Barack Obama tried to organize a meeting with House Latinas. But they were all like, “Eh:” Sen. Barack Obama of Illinois huddled with members of the Congressional Hispanic...

Audacious Presidential hopeful Barack Obama has hired former Hillary Clinton’s former campaign manager, Patti Solis Doyle, in a move of cunning political strategery: Miss Solis Doyle is the most prominent Hispanic figure in the Obama campaign. She will help...

It’s a sad time for women and little people who speak in riddles everywhere, what with Hillary Clinton being knocked out of the race by America and Obama and Tiger Woods and Magic Johnson and… the Rockefellers? We’re not...

Reports claim that internationally renowned role model Jennifer Lopez paid a visit to Barack Obama’s office in the Hart Senate Office Building on Wednesday afternoon, which is kind of impossible since we first read this Wednesday at around 10...

This morning at 11:13 am our hearts skipped a beat when we read the Reuters headline which said: “Clinton will say Tuesday that Obama has enough delegates to secure Democratic presidential nomination: report.” Sweaty and panting and wanting to...

As Obama gets ready to garner no votes in Puerto Rico because Latinos hate and fear Black people (What? Black Latinos? Ha! They ride unicorns, right?), a lot of celebrities, some of which we’re not sure are even eligible...

Listen up, Puerto Rico! It’s almost time for you to forget to vote and Barack Obama would really appreciate it if you’d vote for him, kthnx. Oh, what’s that? You don’t wash dishes for a living? No, no, it’s...

Senator Hillary Clinton has garnered the ever-important North Carolina “Evil, Old-Timey Villain” vote. Soon after this daguerotype was taken, the attractive young fellow on the left tied Hillary to nearby railroad tracks while cackling maniacally. He was last seen...

Maria Soledad Vela is among several people revising and rewriting Ecuador’s constitution and she would like to ensure that women are not left off the list. As such, she’s proposed that woman’s right to “enjoy sexual happiness” be added...

Designer Donatella Versace supports Democratic candidate Hillary Clinton, but would support her a little more if she would just do something about her clothes: “Hillary should wear Versace - a dress, not trousers,” the designer mused. “She doesn’t need...

Salt-of-the-earth immediately preceding a few dozen tequila shots Hillary Clinton won the Pennsylvania primaries last night, beating fancy Fleur de Sel Senator Barack Obama by 45%-55%: Network exit polls said Clinton’s margin of victory was built heavily upon her...

Ovary-filled American comedian Hillary Clinton has a secret; she’s sorry, but it’s true. America, she’s fucking Obama. And while this video provides ample fodder for “barebarack” and “Big O” jokes, we’re just not going to go there. Sorry. We’re...

Gaggle of oxymorons, “Latinos for Obama,” have organized a week to set aside their deep, inborn hatred of black men and campaign for Barack Obama:: Amigos, On the week of April 13th, Latinos across the country are planning low...

Not content to let governors in New York hog the media spotlight, Puerto Rican governor Anibal Acevedo got gotten into some custom-fit troubles of his own. He is currently facing allegations of campaign finance violations, conspiracy, wire fraud and...

While touring college campuses around the country as part of her mother’s campaign, Chelsea Clinton was asked about what, if any, impact Bill Clinton’s affair with White House intern and 90’s-era Trivial Pursuit answer Monica Lewinsky had on Hillary’s...

Spanish-language network Univision’s “Political Action Committee” recently made a $1,000 donation to Senator Roger Wicker’s campaign, only to ask for their money back once they discovered Wicker’s stance on illegal immigration might not sit well with their viewers. Lucky....

When we first read about the recent string of protests in Tibet, we immediately wondered, “Gosh, what does Hugo Chavez have to say about all this?” Luckily for us, Huey took some time out of his busy schedule of...

Beautifully coiffed television host Stephen Colbert sits down with Arab rights activist Hussein Ibish to uncover, once and for all, whether or not Senator Barack “Hussein in the Membrane” Obama is a Muslim. We say: Who cares! As long...

Hey laaaadies! Guess what? Y’all totally pwned the Texas primary, constituting about 20% of the total votes, with Hispanic men at about 14%. Hmm. To what can we blame attribute this?: The surge in Latina voter participation in Texas...

So who are you voting for, oh Latino Voter? John McCain? Ralph Nader? El scoff! Who are they, right? You’re only allowed to vote for audacious alleged Muslim Barack Obama or the ovary-having Hillary Clinton. Inspiration or substance? Who’ll...

Hillary Clinton’s incomprehensible “3 a.m.” ad had us clutching at the space where the children we don’t have our supposed to be sleeping and trying to get Matchbox 20 out of our head for like two hours. Thankfully, parody...

We have learned, from experience, never to trust a man wearing both a cowboy hat and aviator sunglasses, so we warn you be extremely cautious before taking this man’s advice. However, if you, like him, like your candidates rich...

Vatosaurus would like you to vote for Barack Obama, even though you’re a colossal racist. Just think of Obama as a Dominican, he suggests. And, you know, of all the political commenters with other people’s hands shoved firmly up...

At the recent Democratic debate in Austin, Texas, journalist Jorge Ramos (swooooon!) asked audacious presidential hopefuls Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton how they felt Fidel Castro’s resignation would affect U.S. policy towards Cuba. And they were like, “Horny.” JK!...

Cuban’s Vice-President, former medical student Carlos Lage, is set to become Cuba’s next big thing, besides the next premiere destination for the Cancun crowd during Spring Break: He is more of a party guy than a state police guy...

Patti Solis Doyle, Hillary Clinton’s former campaign manager with fabulous hair and a mega-watt smile, told reporters that, no, she totally wasn’t discarded like the raspita at the bottom of a pot, to put Latino-ly: On Tuesday, the campaign...

Yesterday, Hillary Clinton fired her campaign manager, Patti Solis Doyle, who, as you may have cleverly deduced from the name tucked safely away between two, White-Or-Perhaps-Ethnically-Ambiguous-Monikers, is Latina. And she replaced her with someone who is Black. And Not...

At a time when our country is divided between Latinos — with their big, loud family dinners; tacky, poorly-parked cars; large, frightening, throbbing members and forked tongues that spill forth mysterious languages — and People Who Aren’t Latinos, only...

Republican John McCain’s past is coming under fire, with people asking whether his place of birth, the Coco Solo Air Base in the formerly American-controlled Panama Canal Zone, makes him ineligible to run for U.S. President: John McCain was...

Good-intentioned political organization Declare Yourself wants to encourage young people to register to vote in the upcoming primaries and presidential election. According to their flacks, they want to use the internets to recruit the young, indifferent masses: “Using […]...

George Lopez is mad that Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton have somehow forgotten to ask him to campaign on their behalf. We’re upset Ron Paul never responds to our love letters: Top Latino funnyman GEORGE LOPEZ has lashed out...

A group called “Americans for Legal Immigration” have created a website to collect enough signatures to nominate CNN anchor Lou Dobbs for president because of his much-publicized hard stance against illegal immigration: The group, which seeks stronger immigration controls,...

Barack Obama’s campaign has come out with two ads, in Spanish, that will air in Nevada. In one of the ads, entitled “Hope,” Latino voters learn they can make a difference by voting for Obama, regardless of whether they...

Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama are really sinking their teeth into their respective election campaigns, especially when it comes to the Latino Democratic vote and especially when those teeth are being sunk into delicious, beefy tacos: Senator Hillary Rodham...