Jamie Lynn Spears, probably the most famous teen mom since the Virgin Mary, reached out to Sarah Palin’s pregnant daughter, Bristol, by sending her a gift basket. Awww, and shit: A source close to the Beverly Hills baby store...

We only became aware of the Palin family’s existence not more than 2.3 seconds ago and we’re already saturated. Just days after presidential hopeful John McCain’s announcement of Alaska governor Sarah Palin as his choice for VP comes news...

Now that we’ve formally congratulated Eva Longoria on her pregnancy / publicity stunt / period bloat, we think we need to think about what sort of gift to give whatever little thing she inevitably farts out. And we think...

So this picture of Eva “10 Frivolous-Ass Costume Changes” Longoria looking like she’s holding in a painful hiccup has got people thinking she’s pregnant with a womb troll. She’s also been going on and on about how skinny-fat and...

Not to our child, which is both a shame and a blessing. Gael Garcia Bernal’s girlfriend, Argentine actress Dolores Fonzi, henceforth known as “The Fonz”, is pregnant with their child. The two have known one another since working on...

Teeny little nugget of annoyance, Eva Longoria, is reportedly trying to gain weight out of dedication to her craft. You see, she’s set to play a stay-at-home mom so, obviously, she needs to look “frumpy” and “like a hot-ass...

Karen Wesolowski and Martha Padgett are a lesbian couple who each became pregnant using Martha’s eggs and donor sperm. Each woman then gave birth to twins twins, effectively creating a set of quadruplets together. That. Is a lot of...

Oh, laaaadies! Tired of dating men who, for whatever reason, are unable or unwilling to settle down and get to baby-making? Fed up with the usual vacation to Europe (old!) or Boca Raton, Florida (really, really old!)? Then perhaps...

So Matt Damon packed on a lot of weight in order to play a whistleblower in his upcoming film, The Informant. But, ok, look. Matt Damon could drink gravy and shave off his eyebrows and we’d still think he’s...

Jessica Alba opens up to Cosmopolitan UK about how it is that she manages to consistently come across as entirely unrelatable and entitled in all her interviews. Oh. Or about how she didn’t feel sexy while because she was...

Seventeen-year-old Lindsay Oliver and her twenty-year-old, statutory rapey boyfriend, Andrew, appeared on “Good Morning America” to discuss the “pregnancy pact” going on at a high school in Massachusetts (as if the accent wasn’t enough of a giveaway). They seem...

First it was a trans-man getting pregnant, now a teenage pregnancy pact. The media says it’s all Hollywood’s fault. That babies have become the new glamour accessory. From where we’re sitting, pregnancy is the new act of rebellion. A...

Some folks just insist on pissing in the gene pool. A group of high school girls in Massachusetts may have decided to make a “pregnancy pact,” because nothing goes with an eigth grade reading level quite like the responsibility...

Sexually sexual sexpot Christina Aguilera would like to have another baby, because it being a mom makes her feel sexy: When asked if she wants more babies, Christina replied: “Oh, eventually, yes! Yess, absolutely. Absolutely! “Motherhood comes very naturally...

Have Angelina Jolie and her magical golden chalice already given birth in France? Some people are sort of guessing maybe!: According to rumors, the Oscar-winner gave birth on Sunday in a Catholic clinic in the Aix-En-Provence region of France....

Because Jessica Alba got pregnant before marriage in exactly the way Papa Dios hates, she’s now planning a “babymoon” with new husband Cash Warren: “She wants to go on a babymoon vacation before she gives birth. She’s looking forward...

Jennifer Lopez’s embarrassingly less famous and almost offensively unreal sister, news anchor Lynda, is pregnant. And not by a turkey baster encrusted with emeralds, because she is poor and horrible: The 34-year-old news anchor showed off a baby bump...

Womb-troll-laden Jessica Alba admits she’s a lazy, gluttonous robot in the upcoming issue of Fit Pregnancy magazine: “At the end of the day I am so tired I can’t function or speak and my eyes glaze over,” Alba, 27,...

Don’t ever tell Jack Black about your ladybusiness, because he’ll go on national TV and blab all about it. His frosted tips will tingle with the need to tell everyone about the contents of your uterus. So, yes. Angelina...

The Pew Hispanic Center has come out with a list of statistics on Hispanic women, and it would seem we’re, for the most part, pretty hard-working baby-makers - especially those of us born abroad: Hispanic women generally, both U.S.-born...

Angelina Jolie, who is rumored to be expecting twin girls, has an entire team of specially-trained ninja fighters waiting in the wings for her to pop: Angie’s currently staying at the plush Villa Maryland on the French Riviera and...

Here are Jim Bob (We… do not judge?) and Michelle Duggar announcing the birth of baby # 64.3 in their own words. Or in Jim Bob’s own words (We judge.) , with Michelle nodding dutifully. Just as the good...

Michelle Duggar of Tontitown, Arkansas is pregnant. With her 18th child. Our uterus is crying: “We’ve had three in January, three in December. Those two months are a busy time for us,” she said, laughing. Through her tears. The...

Angelina Jolie is reportedly pregnant with a pair of female uterine maggots who will crush Jennifer Lopez’s twins with their mighty talons while cherubim sing from on high. Or something, But, woe! For all is not well in Angelina’s...

Xochitl Parra is a 17-year-old girl who gave birth at home, secretly and without her family having known she was pregnant, and then walked to the hospital with her baby still attached by umbilical cord. Ok: “I was just...

Humanitarian and noted thespian Jessica Alba spent some time handing out baby items to pregnant teen cholas at the Nellie M. Blanding branch of Thomas Riley High School in Los Angeles. The school is especially designed to cater to...

Beyonce is apparently pregnant with a baby or a ball of hair or a diamond made of other diamonds. Or something. This is how she managed to get Jay-Z to walk down the aisle amidst bagillion dollar flower arrangements...

“Saturday Night Live’s” Amy Poehler’s uterus is filled with baby, thanks in part to former “Arrested Development” star Will Arnett. News of her pregnancy arrives just in time for us to remember not to watch her new movie with...

Here’s Ashlee Simpson talking to The Today Show’s Matt Lauer about whether or not she has a Fetus Wentz all up in her uterus. Oh, and we guess she has a new album to promote, too. Whatever. We used...

Onch, a jewelry designer from Los Angeles, has been inspired by Aliza Shvarts’ art to create some of his own. His “Aliza Shvarts” pendant is all a-swirl with red - reminiscent of roses, cherries jubilee, and miscarried baby brain...

Oh fuck us with a syringe and upload the video already. Aliza Shvarts, an artiste currently going through a much-publicized Red Period, is reportedly upset that Yale has come forth saying her “one girl, one cup” style self-induced pregnancy...

So Ashlee Simpson is totally not pregnant, right? Totally not! But say she was. Papa Joe thinks the baby photos would go for one million dollars. Because Papa Joe is a mustachiod villian from the 1800’s: A magazine source...

Jennifer Lopez has reportedly been waking up at 4 a.m. in order to exercise away the hideous baby weight she gained after carrying two completely natural womb trolls: A source told Britain’s Closer magazine, “Jennifer has always been a...

Jessica Alba and her hopefully brown womb troll had a celebrity studded baby shower this weekend, and Kim Kardashian, she of the urine-soaked sex tape, was in attendance. Because why not?: Some of Mama Jessica’s friends and family descended...

Hi girls and boys! And others - we’re inclusive. Guess what it’s time for! Sentences ending in prepositions! And also: Fun Fact From Florida! Yay. Today’s fun fact is brought you by the number 8 and the phrase “Jesus...

Naturally-conceiving actress and singer Jennifer Lopez has admitted she felt a lot of pressure from her mother to get pregnant: The ‘Do It Well’ singer says she felt under even more pressure to fall pregnant because her mother rang...

Thomas Beatie, the pregnant transman who has inspired commenters to alternately cry, rejoice and weave error-riddled rants to demonstrate their superior knowledge of gender and identity, will be holding a press conference tomorrow - which just happens to be...

Angelina Jolie is reportedly struggling with various health issues as a result of the strain that comes with being pregnant with twin Messiahs: An insider added: “Angelina has gestational diabetes. She found out about a month ago and has...

Jamie Lynn Spears, the superfluously-named younger sister of Britney, refuses to be a teen mom to a bastard and intends to marry her 18-year-old baby-daddy Casey Aldridge: Spears, 16, has been flashing the rock to friends and family around...

Update: FOR FIRST PICTURES OF THOMAS BEATIE’S BABY AND BIRTH ANNOUNCEMENT CLICK HERE. Meet Thomas Beatie. He was born biologically female, had sex reassignment surgery, and is now legally male. When his wife, Nancy, was unable to have children, Thomas,...

New mom Jennifer “Don’t Call Me JLo” “JLo” Lopez insists she gave birth “naturally,” without the help of in vitro fertilization. And then says “naturally” six more times: She tells People magazine, “It was natural. We didn’t do in...

Sexy gnome Nicole Richie, who very recently gave birth to her first child, is in talks to design her own line of maternity wear that will draw attention away from her fat, ugly womb. Because hiring a stylist makes...

Mexican singer and vaguely alien-headed celebrity, Ana Barbara, is said to be pregnant with her third child. At almost 40 years old, A.B. is getting a little up there. It’s going to leave some unsightly stretch marks when the...

Latinoid singer Nelly Furtado, who is rumored to be pregnant, was looking radiant as a thousand retina-searing suns during a recent concert in Chile. Also noteworthy were her, um. New curves. Located the at the, er. Rear of her...

Jennifer Lopez may have checked into her super luxurious birthing suite in order to shove a couple babies out in the glamorous way possible: The private room being held for Jennifer Lopez at North Shore University Hospital is finally...

The giant pod person that ate Jennifer Lopez is, apparently, very demanding and annoying staff at Long Island’s North Shore University Hospital: Jennifer Lopez is about to pop out twins, and that has North Shore University Hospital on Long...

Pea-brain Fergie will totally let you know whenever boyfriend and “Las Vegas” star Josh Duhamel impregnates her. Details, please, Butterface: She’s hit out against celebrities that hide their pregnancies like J Lo and Christina Aguilera, saying: “It’s so stupid....

A painfully pregnant Jennifer Lopez made sure she cleared enough time in her busy schedule of biting the heads off snakes and bathing in the blood of virgins to attend the Marchesa show during New York Fashion Week: López,...

Jennifer Lopez’s father decided it has hight time he started receiving some publicity, too, and recently went on “Escándalo TV” to confirm his daughter’s womb is simply brimming with babies: Yes, twins,” her dad David Lopez said in an...

Cristiano Ronaldo turns 23 today. Somewhere, a team of hookers is extremely tired. [dlisted] Shakira is has no plans to marry her boyfriend; we have no plans to care one way or another. [Lossip] Conan O’Brien, Jon Stewart and...