What’s the difference between a hockey mom and a pitbull? Pitbulls use condoms. High five! A line of “doggy condoms” aim to cut down on the population of stray dogs taking a dump on your lawn. The ite for...

Wary of all the side-effects associated with popular penis popper pill Viagra, over-the-hill scientists tired of hearing “It happens to everyone. EXCEPT THE POST MAN” have begun to study new and exciting ways of making an old man bonery:...

A 27 year-old man is seeking to auction off his “gay virginity” to the highest bidder to help pay off his $32, 000 credit card debt after losing his job on Wall Street. We really can’t make this any...

The tasteful and elegant Facebook group, “30 Reasons Girls Should Call It A Night” (#31, because only boys are allowed to stumble into a stranger’s backyards wearing only a bra and lipstick?) is apparently costing some Drunky McDrunks job...

By now, most of us are familiar with the general concept of a Purity Ball: It’s usually a formal event where a father pledges to protest his (usually pre-teen) daughter’s purity - be that in the form of her...

Now that Jessica Alba is over being cast as the “ambiguously ethnic sexy hot girlfriend sidekick,” Eva Mendes seems totally willing to fill the void. When promoting “Vida,” her new line of bedding for Macy’s (Eva Mendes bedding, yes....

‘Ello, lovelies. Last week, we discussed sluts, Jordin Sparks, and her pontificating on the subject of purity rings. This week, in equally happyfunshiny news, let’s break down a recent story regarding a man caught raping his wife on a...

Certain Catholic Church leaders are upset at publishing house Simon & Schuster over the book 101 Places To Have Sex Before You Die because it advocates having sex in a Church confessional. Suggests the book: “The only sex the...

We received an unexpected deluge of like three comments over the Watchando item on Jordin Sparks’ speech at the VMAs. You sluts and prudes really feel strongly about purity rings and Z-List celebrities! So we thought it’d be nice...

Coco de Mer is a shop specializing in erotic accoutrements so that, when police come to cut your body down from an exercise in erotic auto-asphyxiation gone terribly awry, they can comment admiringly on the loveliness of your bejeweled...

It’s kinda hard to claim you’re a modest woman when you’ve been photographed bent over a tree with your ass in the air. But model/actress Aleida Núñez does her best, telling TVyNovelas magazine; “La verdad, me apena hablar de...

It’s totally embarrassing to have to pull out a series of wires, charges, straps and chains every single time you just want to lay back and give yourself a ” sensual back massage.” Luckily, there are some more or...

Picture, if you will: You’re at a bar, wondering if you should hope the puddle of yellow by your barstool is your own, when you spy someone from across the room. He’s hot and funny, he says. You’re inebriated...

Bia and Branca Feres are Brazilian twin sisters who are into synchronized swimming. They’re going to the Olympics! Good for them! They are also, as our little brother MachoChip gleefully pointed out, apparently really into pressing their boobs together....

If you’re worried about condoms slipping off during sex and refuse to simply encourage your man not to try and call a pole bean a cucumber, then perhaps you should invest in “CollarUp” - harness used to keep condoms...

We’ll let you in on a little secret: We love masturbating. We look forward to it. To paraphrase Woody Allen, masturbation is “sex with someone we love.” Although we suppose sex with your wife’s underage adopted daughter comes in...

Organizers of this year’s Olympic games in Beijing have set up labs in oder to verify whether female athletes participating in the games are, in fact, female as well as whether they might have taken certain performance-enhancing drugs like...

German newspaper, Bild, apparently fabricated an interview with actress Penelope Cruz, in which they quoted her lazy ass as saying: “Sometimes I feel like not wanting anything to do with sex, just as much as I would like to...

For some unknown reason, the term, “The Shocker” is the number one Google search item in America today with a hot topic rating of “volcanic,” the hottest level given on Google Trends. Which very well may mean your tía...

We live in a culture that is constantly bombarding us with contradictory messages about sex and relationships. Images of sex are everywhere, and yet talking openly and honestly about sex to young and impressionable people is still considered taboo....

A stripper was arrested in Santiago, Chile for attempting to remove her clothing in front of the presidential palace after performing strip tease acts on the local metro. Why? To challenge the prudishness of Chilean society. Honestly, we’d probably...

Former prosecutor and mother of four, Beth Modica, has been sentenced to two years in prison for raping two teenage boys following testimony from three of her children. Her 16-year-old daughter, Danielle, told the court that her mother had...

We live in a culture that is constantly bombarding us with contradictory messages about sex and relationships. Images of sex are everywhere, and yet talking openly and honestly about sex to young and impressionable people is still considered taboo....

Invasive question time! Ever feel like you’re the only person on the planet who isn’t having sex on a regular basis? Well, turns out, if you live in the U.S, that’s probably not too far from the truth. According...

In News That May Be Fake, German scientists at the Guanabee offices the “Condom Consultancy” are reportedly creating a spray-on condom. In the most racist way possible: Conventional condoms had problems fitting upon the men’s most treasured asset, as...

According to new “scientific” studies performed at the New Mexico State University in Las Cruces, the “dark triad” of antisocial personalities in men (“the self-obsession of narcissism; the impulsive, thrill-seeking and callous behaviour of psychopaths; and the deceitful and...

Attention Upper Middle class liberal arts school grads with over-inflated senses of entitlement and self-worth! American Apparel is now carrying the Hitachi magic wand “massager” through their online store. Because your clitoris is super tense, right?: This old school...

Gorgeous, prehistoric telenovela veteran Andres Garcia has been hospitalized. Sad! Because he hurt himself during sex. Hilarious!: Andres admits that the sexual positions he forces his body to make are giving him aches. This is why we constantly remind...

A video taken shortly after Amy Winehouse and her crack residue of a husband, Blake, exchanged vows and sores in Miami has leaked. The footage shows Amy singing racist song lyrics while playing with her boobs. Stars! They’re just...

A new study shows that Hispanic high schoolers are shooting up, getting drunk, having sex and offing themselves at a higher rate than their Black or White classmates. Because, again, Hispanics cannot be Black, White or Asian: The study...

Let’s face it. Sometimes, drunken Facebook “friending” will not get you laid, so we sent Guanabee contributing editor Gabriel Caro out in the field to test some ways to help us “friend” ourselves. What he found were some toys...

Did you guys see How the Garcia Girls Spent Their Summer, yet? It’s changing the face of Latino American cinema! Know why? Cuz it has abuelita sex! The movie’s power is its honest exploration of women’s sexuality. There is...

Jessica Alba has posed as Drew Barrymore, Mia Farrow, Janet Leigh and others for Latina magazine, and now she’s posing as Charlie Chaplin in the pages of Allure magazine. Alluring! She also sexily talks about how much she resents...

“The Hills’” Spencer Pratt has been busy penning an advice column for Radar when he isn’t whitening his teeth or bleaching his pubes. And, sometimes, he’s got pretty good advice. However, we took issue with his most recent column,...

Was your man’s first time with a couch or a cousin? And what exactly does that say about him? Guanabee Associate Editor Gabriel Caro lets us into the secret world of Latino boys and their burgeoning, sometimes rushed sexuality...

Maria Soledad Vela is among several people revising and rewriting Ecuador’s constitution and she would like to ensure that women are not left off the list. As such, she’s proposed that woman’s right to “enjoy sexual happiness” be added...

Show of hands! No? Anyone? Well, after his appearance on, um. “Divorce Court,” we’ve got to say Gary is quite the little charmer. He’s trying to work on his marriage with wife Shannon and that includes addressing some intimacy...

Slate writer Daniel Brook thinks Disney’s outrage over Miley Cyrus’ recent Vanity Fair photo shoot might be slightly disingenuous, considering an underwear campaign they had in China, featuring a pretty sexualized image of a pre-teen: I was walking from...

This new ad campaign from Brazilian travel group Flytour is, like the entire country of Brazil, TOTALLY NSFW It also reminds us of the movie Crazy People. In the movie, a group of insane ad execs sell sexy, new...

Gonzalo Navarrete, a doctor and mayor of Lo Prado, Chile, has created a new program aimed at improving the quality of life for old men who want to bone stuff. He will pass out free Viagra to men 60-years-old...

Tania Derveaux (a former Senatorial candidate in Belgium who promised “40,000 blowjobs” to supporters) is a woman on a mission. She wants to protect net neutrality. So fervent is her passion that she is willing to have sex with...

We’re kind of gross. We admit it and we’re fine with it. Our friends and loved ones have found their own ways of dealing with our fondness for making inappropriate sexual puns in public or simulating sex acts after...

Video footage of Marilyn Monroe tonguing an unidentified taint has been sold to a New York business man for 1.5 million dollars. Viewing party at Daniel Mauser’s on Friday!: An illicit copy of the steamy, still-FBI-classified reel - 15...

Hi girls and boys! And others - we’re inclusive. Guess what it’s time for! Sentences ending in prepositions! And also: Fun Fact From Florida! Yay. Today’s fun fact is brought you by the number 8 and the phrase “Jesus...

It turns out the two people whom we would most like to be featured with in a sex tape, Alejandro Sanz and Shakira, have a sex tape of their own. And it’s a threesome! With her boyfriend, Antonio de...

So, by now, many of you have probably already stumbled upon news of Formula One’s Max Mosley’s sex tape while googling “sick Nazi orgy” at work. For those of you haven’t, here’s the short version: Max Mosley is a...

If you get embarrassed at having piña colada flavored Magnums spill out of your purse every time you reach for change, these prettily-packaged (lolz) condoms from “Proper Attire” might be a nice alternative:...

Like any good alcoholic in denial, actress Kate Bosworth suggested she and 21 co-star Jim Sturgess have a few drinks to “loosen up” before their sex scene. And then her freaky-pretty eyes got all bleary and her brain got...

Casa Diablo Gentlemen’s Club, a Portland strip club, has combined two of the city’s very favorite things: Veganism and vulvas. Mmm mmm good! But there’s a problem for proprietor Johnny Diablo, a wrench thrown into the giant money-making-exploitative-patriarchal-mechanism! Women,...

When news spread that investment firm Bear Stearns was bankrupt and was going to get all gobbled up by JP Morgan, a lot of people reacted with outbursts along the lines of “FUCK them! FUCK them in the ASS!”...