11 November 2009

Hugo Chavez Denies He Called For War That Time When He Called For War

By Cindy Casares at 1:30 PM.

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27 October 2009

Hugo Chavez Will Manipulate Clouds To Make Rain, So Please Stick To Three Minute Showers, Ok?

By Alex Alvarez at 11:20 AM.

5 Comments

Venezuelan president Hugo Chavez, smartest man in the world, has proposed a thoughtful new measure for conserving water: No more Miley.

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Calle 13’s Residente Plays For No President

By Nacomprende at 10:53 AM.

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6 October 2009

Family Guy Is The Latest Thing Banned In Venezuela

By Alex Alvarez at 5:41 PM.

8 Comments

Hopefully Venezuelans are as tired of shows with overweight, oafish husbands telling their hot wives about how some thing reminds them of this other, totally random thing featuring an 80s movie reference as we are because Family Guy is the latest Thing Banned in Venezuela.

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5 October 2009

Latin America Is Getting All Anti-Semitic

By Cindy Casares at 9:32 AM.

11 Comments

25 September 2009

Hugo Chavez On Larry King: “Bush Ruined Everything”

By Cindy Casares at 9:58 AM.

9 Comments

Hugo Chavez was on Larry King Live last night where he called his host “Larrry De Keeeng!” and proved he’s no fresa by otherwise not speaking English. He also may have made out with Courtney Love, we’re not sure, and he answered every paranoid, American suspicion Larry threw at him, point for point.

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11 September 2009

We Called It: Hugo Chavez And King Juan Carlos Forgive & Forget That Whole ¿Por Qué No Te Callas? Thing

By Alex Alvarez at 10:47 AM.

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Hugo Chavez, King Juan Carlos of Spain and Prime Minister José Luis Rodríguez Zapatero met recently, putting that whole “¿por qué no te callas?” thing behind them. We wonder whether they discussed The Simpsons

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28 August 2009

What Hugo Chavez Is Banning Today: Video Games

By Cindy Casares at 4:50 PM.

One Comment

4 August 2009

Dictator Groupies: Lina Ron Tear Gassed A TV Station For Hugo Chavez

By Jack Tomas at 7:04 PM.

7 Comments

Thirty Venezuelan pro-Chavez militants stormed the office of a rival TV station in Caracas and tossed tear gas inside, led by this crazy slag.

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22 July 2009

Chavez Family Rules Barinas Province Through Greed And Fear

By Jack Tomas at 4:37 PM.

One Comment

Hugo Chavez’ family rules over their home province of Barinas like feudal land owners who amass huge fortunes while allowing rampant crime to go unchecked. Their people live in fear and hopelessness. Socialists, eh?

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8 July 2009

Get To Know Your Dictator: Hugo Chavez

By Jack Tomas at 12:41 PM.

4 Comments

Hugo Chavez is the biggest star in Latin America since Menudo, and it’s easy to see why. But who is the man behind the goofy shit eating grin?

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7 July 2009

Bienvenidos Al Club

By Cindy Casares at 10:30 AM.

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A sign at a Honduran solidarity rally in Caracas, Venezuela seems to imply that hanging with Hugo Chavez will get you robbed one way or another.

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11 June 2009

Hugo Chavez Has Banned Coke Zero From Venezuela, And You Wonder Why We Love Him

By Cindy Casares at 12:02 AM.

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4 June 2009

Retro-Liveblogging Hugo Chavez’s Alo Presidente 10th Anniversary Marathon

By Cindy Casares at 1:30 PM.

5 Comments

This weekend, to celebrate the 10th anniversary of his television show, Alo Presidente, Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez announced to the world that he would air a four day marathon. Four days of Hugo Chavez singing the praises of Hugo Chavez and the movimiento. What could be more sublime?

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13 May 2009

Osmel Sousa Does Not Believe In Inner Beauty Because, Seriously, Have You Ever Seen A Kidney?

By Alex Alvarez at 4:00 PM.

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As President of the Miss Venezuela pageant, Osmel Sousa knows a thing or two about beauty. And those things are big, round, slathered in bronzer and decidedly on the outside of one’s body.

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11 May 2009

Hugo Chavez Study Says He Takes Jobs And Cash From His Opposition

By Alejandro Paz at 1:33 PM.

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4 May 2009

A 5.4-degree Quake Hits Central Region Of Venezuela

By Cindy Casares at 7:11 AM.

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20 April 2009

21 Of Venezuelan Millionaire Victor Vargas’ Polo Ponies Drop Dead From Poisoning

By Camilla Rowan at 5:30 PM.

4 Comments

21 polo ponies collapsed and died from toxin-related heart failure before a Palm Beach polo match on Sunday, sparking rumors that the poisoning might have been intentional and an attack on their tycoon owner, Venezuelan millionaire Victor Vargas.

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3 March 2009

Maria Conchita Alonso Is Prettier Than You, Has A Man To Service Her

By Cindy Casares at 5:01 PM.

9 Comments

Maria Conchita Alonso talked to TV Y Novelas recently to discuss the important matter of her beauty. Unlike many of today’s beauty queens from her native Venezuela, Maria Conchita was first runner up for Miss Venezuela 1975 back when plastic surgery was seen as cheating. She’ll be the first to tell you that she got [...]

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2 March 2009

Maria Conchita Alonso Says Sean Penn Should Shut Up About Venezuelan Politics

By Cindy Casares at 1:30 PM.

3 Comments

Native Venazolana Maria Conchita Alonso has some opinions about her 1988 Colors co-star Sean Penn’s worship of Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez. And it’s all on video!

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