While you were pretending you like your family, audience members in Germany were pretending to enjoy Britney Spears’ “Bambi Awards” performance. Kim Cattrall is airing out her boobs to recreate Titian’s “Diana and Actaeon” in order to raise money...

Lindsay Lohan’s guest appearance on “Ugly Betty” was cut short because of tension with America Ferrera. Apparently, during rehearsal for a “pantsing” scene, America pulled down Lindsay’s pants when she wasn’t supposed to, revealing her G-string. Lindsay cried, because...

By now, we’re all well aware that Hollywood stars come in two, basic body shapes: “Fat.” And “Eating Disorder.” People en Español understand this and wants to give you a platform to express whether you prefer the morbidly obese...

Ringo Starr is not going to signing any of your fucking fan mail because he’s too busy. Peace & love, motherfuckers. Is Zac Efron going to get all naked for penis-pony-play Equus? [The Post Chronicle] Maureen McCormick, the original...

Remember when we told you all about the lovely and fabulous “Geisha Facial” a while back? The spa treatment involves getting one’s face slathered in nightingale poop because, like sperm, it promises to make your skin clear and beautiful....

Sarah Palin used to put plaster over her nipples during beauty pageants. Politicians: They’re just like us! [NY Daily News] Brad and Angelina might adopt a child from South America. Juan will probably be renamed “Astral Kumquat” or some...

A group of Chucky dolls jammed to Jessica Simpson’s performance of “Come On Over.” If Jessica had any sense, she’d hire these people as her back-up dancers. Jordin Sparks tries to explain her “slut” comment, but finds it difficult...

Victoria Beckham’s collection is out and it looks pretty nice, we must say! It’s much better executed and more sophisticated than a lot of lines barfed out by Perez Hilton Jennifer Lopez Lauren Conrad Heidi Montag celebrities. You don’t...

Victoria Beckham up and got a new hairstyle. And its kind of wonderfultastic. [Chicago Tribune] Jessica Alba will play a woman obsessed with math in an upcoming film, An Invisible Sign of My Own. Not meth, which is what...

Eva Mendes will be representing Calvin Klein at the CFDA Awards gala. It’s nice that they’re giving plus-size models some attention. [Fashion Week Daily] Indiana Jones and Ally McBeal are getting married, which would be totally exciting if this...

A live-action version of “Fraggle Rock?” Been done. See: Next item. [NY Observer] Here’s your first look at the new cast of Gossip Girl The O.C. ThunderCats “Beverly Hills 90210.” [SOW] Are people telling Michael Lohan that Sam Ronson...

Looking for the perfect little something to wear to your next Stitch ‘n Bitch session? Well, then, you bitching stitcher, you’re quite in luck: Victoria Beckham is auctioning off the six, Roberto Cavalli-designed stage costumes she wore for the...

Paris Hilton is now a skinnier version of Paris Hilton, looks more like a Penis Hilton. [The Sun] Uma Thurman’s alleged stalker is so emo. [NY Times] Britney Spears various wigs, Walgreens visits and Classic statues carved of Cheez...

Victoria Beckham, everyone’s favorite former Spice Girl after Scary and Baby and Ginger and maybe even Sporty, is said to be the “costume design consultant” for Tom Cruise’s upcoming film adaption of “The Hardy Boys” book series. First off...

CNN reporter Richard Quest arrested for meth possession in Central Park at 1 a.m, and being generally awesome. [Private Officer News] We would probably kill our mother for the chance to lick David Beckham’s eyebrows. Oh, and something about...

Eva Longoria and Victoria Beckham took a quiet, unassuming stroll under the tens of millions of flashing paparazzi cameras together with Victoria’s son Cruz. Or Romero. Or Lothario. We wonder what these two have to talk about. Economic recession?...

Mandy Moore’s mother left her dad for another woman. This is by far the most interesting thing Mandy Moore has never done. [Entertainmentwise] Scarlett Johansson sold herself to some British dude for $40,100. We guess American governors are just...

Posh Spice’s youngest condiment, Cruz Beckham, breakdanced in front of Madison Square Garden last night. Somewhere, Shiloh Jolie-Pitt is feverishly working on The Robot. [dlisted] Avril Lavigne complains about paparazzi, while insisting on doing her shopping at Kitson. Babygirl,...

Patrick Mallucci, pervert London scientist, will “research” pictures of celebrity women and compile images of the best looking breasts in Hollywood. He claims his work will help plastic surgeons create the perfect looking breasts when clients come a knocking....

This week the New York Times churns out the same tired, “wow, a blogger is famous,” angle that everyone else is using to describe Perez Hilton’s “sudden meteoric rise to the top,” (i.e. a Vh1 special.) We were about...