28 October 2009

Walmart Now Sells Caskets, Just In Time For Halloween!

By Fidel Martinez at 6:48 PM.

14 Comments

Walmart is now selling caskets through its online store. The behemoth retail chain recently decided to venture into the funeral market, and has begun offering caskets and urns at discounted prices.

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3 September 2009

Stranger Slaps Crying Child At Wal*Mart

By Alex Alvarez at 4:45 PM.

5 Comments

Sixty-one-year-old Roger Stephens cannot abide crying children who go undisciplined by their parents, especially when he’s trying to do some quality shopping at his local Wal*Mart. So he did what any person would do and slapped the crap out of a baby.

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6 May 2009

New Wal-Mart Supermercados Welcome Tiny Fatinos. But Are These Stores A Good Idea?

By Alex Alvarez at 2:00 PM.

7 Comments

Wal-Mart’s newest proposed stores - set to open up in various cities throughout Texas - are designed to cater to Latinos’ shopping habits in ways more specific than we could ever have hoped for. Finally, a place for short, fat people to stock up on cheap, mass-produced foodstuff.

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30 April 2009

Wal-Mart Celebrates Houston Latinos With Its First “Supermercado De Wal-Mart”

By Alex Alvarez at 10:31 AM.

19 Comments

Wal-Mart is celebrating you, the Latino consumer, with the creation of a “Supermercado de Wal-Mart” in Houston, Texas.

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20 March 2009

Wal-Mart Gang Shooting Hoax Incites Momentary Panic Among Concerned, Email-Forwarding Relatives

By Alex Alvarez at 9:31 AM.

5 Comments

A text message sent to authorities in Medford, Oregon warning off a gang initiation shooting at a local Wall-Mart is now determined to the latest such text message in an ongoing hoax.

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