Divorce is always going to be a challenging time for everyone involved, and if you have children, then it’s a decision that is definitely going to impact them in some way. However, it can often be the best thing for everyone, and although it will be hard at the time, it can make the future a much happier one. This isn’t something that’s easy to understand when you’re in the moment, of course, and telling a child will potentially be confusing and upsetting.
There are some useful things you can do to help guide your young children through your divorce in a way that will benefit everyone. Keep reading to find out what they are.
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Stick To Routines
Children need stability and routines, and divorce can cause some problems in this area because their routines could have to change and they’ll feel confused and unsettled as a result. It’s crucial that you maintain their usual routine as much as possible to help them feel better and feel as though things, although a little different, are largely normal.
To do this, stick to the usual bedtimes, mealtimes, and the activities they would normally do, like after-school clubs, for example. When these things are consistent and can be relied on, they’re a great way to keep children grounded and help them realize that their lives aren’t changing completely.
If possible, you should work with your ex to keep the same kind of schedule and consistency across the two households. Something that can help with this is Two Healthy Homes – co parenting advice that you can both learn from and that will help your children hugely.
During a divorce, children often feel overwhelmed and confused by all the changes that are happening around them. The household and the life that they’ve always known will be entirely different, and they might even have to move to a new home. At the very least, the dynamic within the family will change because one parent will no longer be around as much.
You’ll need to talk openly to your children about what’s happening and why (although you don’t have to go into specific details). Reassure them that they’re not to blame and that you and your ex love them unconditionally; it’s a good idea to make sure the children know that you’ll be there for them at any time, and that means both of you.
As well as talking, you’ve got to actively listen to what your children have to say. They might have questions, they might be angry, they might just want to spend time with you, and you need to listen out for these things as much as possible and act on them. This doesn’t mean giving in to every request your child has, but it does mean helping them when they need you.
Get Professional Help
Divorce is always going to take its toll on the family, and sometimes children need some outside advice to help them, as talking to their parents might not feel possible or helpful. Seeking advice from a therapist or counselor could be the ideal solution, although it will depend on your child’s needs and how you want to handle them.
There are also support groups for children and adults, so these are also worth looking into, especially if you need some help as well.