The Many Faces of Depression: It’s Not Just Feeling Sad

Presented by BetterHelp.

If you picture someone with depression, what comes to mind? Probably someone under the covers, tears streaming down their face, right? That’s how TV and movies often portray it. But the reality is that depression comes in many different forms and affects everyone differently. Depression is far more complex and nuanced. It’s not just about feeling sad.

Because depression can look different from one person to the next, it can be tricky to spot, even in yourself. This article will explore the many faces of depression and hopefully offer some insight into this often misunderstood illness. Getting professional help for a mental illness is nothing to be ashamed of, and recognizing the many ways depression can manifest is the first step toward seeking treatment.

Depression: The Master of Disguise

Think of depression as a bit of a chameleon. It knows how to blend in, and its true nature is often hidden beneath layers of other emotions. It’s not just about feeling sad; it can manifest in many ways.

Here are a few key points to remember when thinking about depression:

• Brain chemistry isn’t optional: Depression isn’t just a bad mood. It involves real changes in your brain. That’s why you can’t just “snap out of it” any more than you could decide to fix a broken leg with positive thinking.
• It’s not just in your head: Depression is a physical illness, not just a mental one. It can affect everything from energy levels to appetite to sleep patterns. In fact, depression can even manifest as physical pain.
• It lies to you: Depression is a master at twisting your thoughts. It can make you believe you’re worthless unlovable, and that nothing will ever get better. Those thoughts are symptoms, not reality.
• You deserve help: Seeking help for depression is a sign of strength, not weakness. The right treatment can help you untangle those depressive thoughts and find your way back to feeling like yourself again.

While the stigma around mental health is slowly changing, there’s still a long way to go. Depression can be isolating and confusing, but remember that you are not alone. It’s okay to reach out for help, and it’s important to know that depression comes in many forms.

Depression’s Sneaky Tricks

Let’s break down some of the ways depression disguises itself:

• Irritable, not sad: For some people, depression shows itself as constant irritability. Snapping at people you love, road rage, zero tolerance for things that normally wouldn’t bother you can all be signs.
• The numb zone: When the emotional pain gets overwhelming, sometimes your brain shuts down the “feeling” part to cope. You go through your days like a robot, disconnected and unable to enjoy anything.
• Fake it ’til you break it: This face of depression is all about hiding the struggle. Overworking, constant social plans, and addictive behaviors are the emotional equivalent of cramming for a test you’re afraid of failing. The crash always comes.
• Unexplained physical symptoms: Depression and your physical health are deeply connected. Mystery aches and pains, constant fatigue, and gut troubles — especially when doctors can’t find a reason — can point toward your mental health needing a tune-up.
• The perfectionist trap: Sometimes, depression wears the mask of being a super high achiever. The underlying belief is, “If I’m perfect, maybe I’ll finally be good enough.” But that finish line keeps moving, and the burnout that comes with it can be difficult to overcome.

Therapy: Decoding Depression

Recognizing those sneaky signs of depression is the first step toward getting help. A mental health professional can help you figure out what’s really going on and recommend the best treatment.   

Here’s a breakdown of some types of therapy for depression:

• Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT): CBT gives you tools to understand how depression warps your thinking and teaches you to replace those unhelpful thoughts with more balanced ones. It’s like changing the channel in your brain.
• Interpersonal therapy (IPT): This modality focuses on your relationships, because guess what? Strong social support is essential when you’re managing depression. IPT helps you improve communication skills and build those connections.
• Other options: Therapy isn’t one-size-fits-all. Mindfulness-based approaches, different styles of talk therapy, and sometimes a combination of therapy plus medication might be the right fit. A good therapist will work with you to find the best approach.

You Are Not Alone (Even if It Feels That Way)

Depression is the ultimate liar. It makes you feel totally isolated or like no one else could possibly understand. Busting that lie is key because here’s the truth:

• Strength in asking: Telling someone you trust, “I think I’m depressed,” is incredibly brave. You’re fighting against the part of depression that wants you to live in silence.
• Blameless: Just like you wouldn’t judge someone for breaking their leg, you shouldn’t judge yourself for this. Depression is an illness, not a personal failure.
• Hope is real: The right treatment can make a world of difference. Even if it takes some trial and error, there is a way through this. You can feel better, and you can rediscover joy.

Your support can make a huge difference for someone else with depression. It’s tough to know what to say, so here’s a cheat sheet:

• Do: Offer practical support (“Can I pick up groceries?”), be a non-judgmental listener, and simply say, “I’m here for you.”
• Don’t: Give unsolicited advice (“Just think happy thoughts!”), minimize their feelings, or pressure them to do things they’re not ready for.

When we understand that depression is not a choice or a character flaw, we can build a more supportive community for ourselves and others. As we break the stigma surrounding mental health, we can hold space for the real challenges of depression and support each other on the journey to healing.